Today workers all over Harold are getting ready to be surrounded by craaazy colleagues wearing badly thought out fancy dress and selling each other horrible cupcakes in aid of Children in Need.
“It’s the worst day of the year,” said advertising executive, Meya Begum. “I resent being made to feel like a pariah for not finding enforced jollity utterly thrilling. I hate Children in Need. And I also hate children in need. They just dress so badly.”
“I would rather stick wasps up my arse than participate,” IT consultant Jason Beesley told us. “Only I’m keeping that quiet or everyone in the office’ll offer to sponsor me.”
Meanwhile scientists have confirmed that it’s true that no one has ever become poor by giving. And also that many have become nauseous listening to Fields of Gold.