David Cameron says that flying UK citizens home from Egypt is a top priority as he much prefers it when they’re killed by his government and not Islamic fundamentalists.
“The decisions that I am taking are about putting the safety of British people first,” the Prime Minister said. “Until they’re back home and then Iain Duncan Smith can hunt them with dogs for all I care.”
“People rightly want to be protected from sociopathic lunatics but now we’ve done the airport security checks they’ll have to get back here and face the music.”
He then hurried away due to almost being late for one of his ‘This Is What You Think’ Skype sessions with John Kerry.