Arnold Delaney revealed that last Thursday had been like any other day, although he had eaten two eggs for breakfast.
“I’d also consumed a second cup of coffee”, said Delaney. “And that’s when my true calling was revealed unto myself, Lord-ways.”
Delaney has used bathrooms before, but this is the first time he’s felt the mysterious hand of a deity guiding him towards a urinal.
“Well, technically it’s the second time”, conceded Delaney, “Thor tried to touch it once, at a party. But that might not have been him, he did seem quite drunk. And some of his gold paint came off on my winky.”
The cafe where Delaney experienced his revelation will probably become a shrine one day, he suggested.
“That’s if they open it again, environmental health are in there at the moment”, he said. “There’s something wrong with the eggs.”
Delaney seems more serene as a result of his ‘blessing’, and has vowed to use his new powers only for good.
“Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to pop home and change my trousers”, he told us. “His worship has just spoken unto me, and compelled me to follow through.”