Harold’s fathers are busy planning what not to do on 21st June when, in a break from tradition, their womenfolk will undertake the bulk of cooking, cleaning and childcare.
Many men are still recovering from their Mothers Day exertions, believing it was only ‘a couple of weeks ago’ that they left an unwrapped box of Milk Tray and a small bunch of dayglo flowers on their mum’s’ front doorstep.
At the Squirrel Lickers Arms two of the tables are already booked. Landlord Eddie is sure the other one will be snapped up shortly, whilst regular Herbert Fork spoke about his own hopes for tomorrow.
“I know it’s called Fathers’ Day but my boys always leave it to their mum to get the card and stuff. So, as well as one of Eddies toasted Frog Sandwiches, I’ve also put a blow job on my wish list.”
The UK’s ancient celebration of fatherhood dates back almost 100 years, when the US company Hallmark Cards suddenly noticed a gap in the market for nauseating sentimentality in other English-speaking countries.