After suffering an embarrassing hacking attack where ‘I love ISIS’ messages were posted to the US Central Command’s Twitter and YouTube accounts, the US exacted a terrible revenge by infecting all ISIS computers with Clippy, the Microsoft Office Assistant.
“We just hacked the US Central Command’s social media accounts as a bit of a joke” complained ISIS leader Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi.
“You could understand if the US, in the spirit of banter, launched a few more drones our way, or water-boarded a few of the brothers in Guantanamo Bay. I’d even have said ‘fair cop’ if US jets dropped 1,000s of cartoons of the Prophet from the sky. But in the name of Allah, infecting all our computers with an unremovable version of Clippy is just … unnecessary.”
A leading war crimes expert agreed the Clippy attack was immoral, if not illegal.
“Woh, the US used Clippy?? Big call” said Tony Blair.
But a defiant Barack Obama said the US were determined to root out the evil that is ISIS and would use all methods at its disposal to achieve that.
“We have control of the ISIS computers. I’m not ruling out installing Internet Explorer 6 or Windows Vista.”
“And It’s obviously a weapon of last resort, but if ISIS continues to fail to play ball we are willing and able to unleash Microsoft Bob. Well if we can figure how it works, that is.”