High Street sharks have warned that ‘unnecessary’ new Government regulations will force desperate families into the hands of back street sharks.
“With us, borrowers know where they are” said Peter Jackal, Wonga’s Director of Corporate Irresponsibility “Trousers round the ankles, head down the toilet and being right-royally buggered by a set of loveable cartoon characters.”
“Why put all that certainty at risk and replace it with unknown terrors from some yobbo, who hasn’t even had the sense to buy Television advertising and snuggle up to the Tory party?
Jackal pointed out that despite a recent Advertising Standards Authority ruling to the contrary, Wonga customers could still ‘save money’ in specific circumstances.
“Compared to, say, running £20 notes through a diamond-cut industrial strength paper shredder, £500 borrowed from us still saves money – as long as you pay it back before the end of the next day. Make that by lunchtime, just to be sure.”