“We have finally developed a computer so powerful it can decide greeting card prices codes” the scientist leading the research explained.
“For many years looking for the price of a card in Clintons became a game of roulette with customers gambling on what number the till would land on when the cashier scanned it.
“Now customers can type in the code on the back of the card straight into the computer and within two weeks they should get a price back that is accurate to within 23.2p.”
The computer, nicknamed “Enigma II”, does have a few limitations, the main one being it is the size of a house.
However, its creators say that is a small price to pay.
“Finally people can find out how much a card will cost within a fortnight of picking without having to take a chance at the till.
“That said we do admit that although this will be a big benefit to men by taking the rudeness out of the codes DD and 69, it won’t speed up the time it takes them to chose a card it the first place.
“That can only be achieved by stores reducing the options to about one.”