New cave painting discovery puts Bruce Forsyth’s age at around 40,000 years

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A newly discovered cave painting in Spain has caused archaeologists to reassess their opinion of Sir Bruce Forsyth’s age, with the new estimate placing him at over 40,000 years old.

The painting, found in the caves of Monte Castillo in Cantabria, Spain, show Forsyth in his signature pose flanked by a pair of what have been described as ‘dolly birds’.

“When we first found it we thought it must have been a hoax because experts have previously placed Forsyth at only around 86 years old, but there is no mistaking the shape of the figure in the painting and the mild hint of sexism involved.” explained Raul Garcia, the Spanish archaeologist who made the incredible discovery.

“Carbon dating techniques are not one hundred percent accurate for this kind of thing but they give us a reasonable estimate, so I can confidently state that Forsyth is at least 44,000 years old.”

Not everybody has been surprised by the news, however, with some pointing to the “prehistoric format” of some of the shows that Forsyth has been involved in. Others have said this explains how the entertainer has seemingly been with the BBC since before television or radio were even invented and, as it turns out, possibly just after humans learned to control fire.

One man published a theory several years ago claiming that some of Leonardo Da Vinci’s more obscure texts were references to a poorly thought-out travelling game show, with lots of lame jokes, presented by Forsyth. This was dismissed as impossible at the time but it now appears that it could well have been true as Brucie pre-dates Da Vinci by some four hundred centuries.

The news also means that Forsyth’s wife is a staggering 43,963 years younger than him.

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  1. Pingback: New cave painting discovery puts Bruce Forsyth’s age at around 40,000 years | The Evening Harold | sdbast