A couple in Harold has been arrested by police for allowing their child to become enormously ginger.
Aged just 11 the child is already pantone 152, a number at odds with national guidelines.
“Teachers first alerted us to the child when he was placed in a brightly-lit classroom, and the sun reflecting off his hair somehow stained all the chalk an offensive orange colour”, said PC Flegg.
“When an officer went round to warn his parents, they were confronted by a 38 year-old male who was wantonly ginger.”
Despite the man being tasered immediately and asked what he was playing at, he stubbornly refused to apologise for his hair colour.
“That’s when we called in social services”, said Flegg.”It was like a red flag to us. A red flag that had been washed a lot, and had quite a few freckles.”
The child has been taken into care in a home that doesn’t serve carrots, and which keeps the curtains closed during normal daylight hours.
“They’re feeding him on bland yellow foods, such as chips, crisps and butter”, revealed Flegg. “He might get fat, but there are worse things that can happen.”