There have been clashes on Harold’s High Street this afternoon between protesters and police following a demonstration against a meeting of the influential Build-A-Bear group.
The group of powerful teddy bears meet to discus world policy, economics and the best way to stuff the lesser bears. Last year’s meeting agreed that current governments would stuff their bears with as much shit as possible instead of the standard woollen material.
It is also a great chance for some of the richest people in the world to make, shape, and pay for more bears that are made in a mould they find desirable.
Among the UK’s delegation are the fluffy chancellor George Osbear and his recently plumped shadow, Ted Balls.
“Some people don’t trust the Build-A-Bear group and think we get up to all sorts of sinister stuff,” Osbear said.
“But in reality we are having picnics, talking about the optimum temperature of porridge, and what policies we will introduce to make sure the rich get richer with no legal comeback.”
The shadow chancellor agreed with his rival and said there was nothing to fear from the group. “It’s all the things you would expect from a meeting of bears.
“How could we get up to anything corrupt or immoral, like any good small teddy bear we spent all of meeting in the pocket of a child, usually a Rothschild.”