Do you have an affinity with a particular cheese piece?
Are you a horsey, a tall one with a nobble on top or are you one of the small ones?
Take our quiz and find out!
Q1: You use a cashpoint late at night, in a dimly lit back alley. As you withdraw the cash, you hear footsteps behind you. Do you:
a: Run away in a straight line, or perhaps diagonally.
b: Stand your ground, just shuffling forward one paving stone.
c: Move one step to the left and two steps forward.
Q2: You have a journey to make, but you look outside and notice it’s raining. Do you:
a: Make the journey all in one go, to avoid being out in it longer than necessary.
b: Decide not to worry: the weather isn’t an issue if you travel by castle.
c: Take the horse, even though you’re useless at horse riding, and spend ages going one step one way, two steps another, hopelessly spiralling about like a ninny.
Q3: You are preparing a dinner party. Suddenly, you realise you’ve run out of pawns for the pawn cocktail. The first guest is already banging on the door. Do you:
a: Send a high-ranking religious official to deal with them.
b: Hide behind a turret.
c: Lay down, to demonstrate your complete and unconditional surrender.
Q4: You have made some toast. What do you spread on it?
a: Royal jelly.
b: Rook paste.
c: Your lowly status dictates that you have it plain.
Q5: You are a child. If you run to the other side of the playground, will you turn into a queen?
c: I am already a queen.
How did you get on? Are you chess royalty, or sacrificial scum?
Q1: a) Bishop, Queen or Windmill b) prawn c) a horsey – Q2: a) Queen, Queen II or Day at the Races b) Englishman c) a horsey – Q3: a) Pope b) Building Inspector c) Coward – Q4: a) Brian May b) Badger c) cannon fodder – Q5: a) Interior Designer b) Republican c) Disney Princess
*This quiz was sponsored by the Harold Cheese Board