Just in time for tonight’s celebrations, an amateur DJ from the village of Harold has unveiled what people are already calling the ‘perfect New Year’s Eve song’, by mixing up the melody from Cliff Richard’s popular classic The Millennium Prayer with the words from obscure poem Auld Lang Syne by little-known Scottish poet Robert Burns.
‘It was one of those things that just click,’ explained 46-year-old R. M. Renfield. ‘I was listening to the Cliff song – what a classic – and I just thought, great though these lyrics are, let’s think the unthinkable and see what it sounds like without them. Now, this is going to sound hard to believe, but I had a recording of someone reciting this old Scottish poem, Auld Lang Syne, it’s called, I think that’s Gaelic, and I had this sudden inspiration – why not mix them up? And my God, it sounded good, they could have been made for each other!’
Music critics have been quick to agree that the ‘mash-up’ is inspired. ‘Familiar though we all are with the original Lord’s Prayer lyrics from Cliff,’ explained Kerrang! editor James McMahon, ‘There is something very special about these new lines. “Should old acquaintance be forgot, and never brought to mind? Should old acquaintance be forgot, and old lang syne?” Lovely. No idea what it means, but it sounds very Christmassy.’
Not everyone is as positive about the new song. As expected, traditionalists are outraged that anyone would even consider tampering with the old classics. ‘Some things you don’t mess with,’ insisted New Year expert Jools Holland. ‘Just listen to the flow of the original lyrics: “Our Father in heaven hallowed be your name your kingdom come your will be done on earth as it is in heaven” – fits the music like a glove. People ask me where I’d rank The Millennium Prayer with the other all-time classics, and I always say I’d have to stick it right up there.’