Homeopathy practitioners working for the NHS have voted underwhelming to strike over proposed pension reform. Currently practitioners save for their estimated 25 years of retirement, by contributing 0.02% of their annual salary. However the Government is now asking them to ‘increase their dilution’ to 0.04%.
Critics have said the turnout for strike ballot was too low to make the action legal. However Angela Blue-sky, head of The Homeopathy Union explained “we wanted to ballot our membership of over 3000 practitioners over possible action, but to send the loudest message to the government we decided to ask just one member for maximum effect.”
The strike is likely to be one of the longest this country has seen, with initial reports saying it could last over 2 weeks, threatening at least five appointments nationwide. However the union has moved reassure the deluded that they will still be happy to deal with any emergencies. “Obviously we do not want to put lives at risk, so our members will still be on hand to deal with urgent cases, however those that just need a placebo fix can still visit your local Holland and Barrett.”
The government has responded angrily to the proposed action by NHS based practitioners with the Health Secretary Jeremy Hunt saying “we offer that shit on the health service?.”
“We recommend that those patients affected try to remain calm by listening to the latest whale song album and using conventional, tried and tested treatments” Mr Hunt continued. “If you still feel the need to try something that is based purely on dodgy evidence, then try praying.”
Critics have been vocal about the strike and it’s length, but the union has called any criticism of the action premature. “Calling us irresponsible is unfair, especially as we have not released full details yet” Ms Blue-sky told us. “Although we are planning a 5 week strike, we believe we can achieve the same effect in about 2.9 seconds.”