Theresa May has had to perform another government u-turn over the planned deportation of Abu Qatada. Following the announcement that there were fresh assurances over his treatment by Jordan, she has since had to admit that Katie Price was not in the best position to judge such things.
“I tried to get some reassurances from the country but turned up to the meeting a day late so I asked Ms Price. She said that his safety would be guaranteed with her, as long as he was willing to make a television show about it.”
“With the bonus of a documentary crew to watch him all day instead of police, this was also a cost effective measure. However, as always, the European Court of Human Rights has decided that by comparison, the country of Jordan would have been less of an ordeal for him.”
This is the latest attempt by successive governments to deport Qatada back to the middle east after numerous judges have let him off saying he wouldn’t get a fair trial.
Speaking about her involvement in the case, Jordon said “I’m not even into that kinky stuff, so should he come to me there would be no physical torture.”
“I think I could tame him a bit as well. I am yet to meet a man who could look threatening in a baby pink onesie. Give me a week with him and he’ll be a bigger threat to the bars of the West End than he would be to the Western World.”
The Home Secretary is now having to try and do things properly, with the only option being a last appeal for the Supreme Court to hear her case. But until then, with arguments over the cost of keeping Qatada raging, he will be sent to a place that will keep him there for a very, very long time with no cconsultation; the local A&E.
Human rights campaigners have objected.