The DWP has ruled an obese 900 year old man ‘fit to work’, and fully capable of delivering millions of parcels on Christmas Eve.
Department of Work and Pensions spokesperson Neville Satan defended the health and disability assessment ruling, saying the organisation scrupulously applied the standard ‘is the person dead?’ test to their Northern client.
“Mr Claus may be 900 years but he managed to the parcel delivery job last Christmas” said Mr Satan. “He’s done sod all since then so as far as we are concerned it’s back to work you fat, lazy bastard.”
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