Norman Dracula, from Dunstable, woke as usual at 7pm and decided to nip down to the local off license for wine and cigarettes to steady his nerves before a planned big night of sexually stylised biting. Unfortunately 7.10pm was like 6.10pm the day before, and he was killed the instant he opened his front door.
Norman’s devastated friends and family said the error was quite out of character for the normally meticulous vampire.
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