London marathon’s security assured as thousands of super-heroes set to run

2004 Flora London MarathonLondon marathon organiser, Dave Bedford, says he is confident this year’s event will be trouble-free after making it mandatory for all runners to be dressed as super-heroes and crime fighters.

“We should have at least 10,000 Supermen, many thousands of Batman and Robins, and a similar number of Spidermen” said Bedford.

“And with over 17,000 women runners expected to run as Wonder Woman, I’d be surprised if any villain would be able to concentrate long enough to get up to no good.”

Bedford says the varied skills of the super-heroes will make it impossible for evil to prevail.

“The super- heroes’ x-ray vision and supersonic hearing means potential evil-doers will be quickly spotted, and the many phone boxes on route will help ensure a rapid response.”

“Try any funny business and the malcontent will be captured in a spider’s web and then restrained between Wonder Woman’s lithe, yet powerful, thighs – oh my, I think I need a lie down.”

Reaction from British runners has been mostly positive, with Harold first time entrant, Nathan Evans, saying his children dream to be Superman was now coming true, after previously being thwarted by school friends pretending that broccoli was kryptonite.

But the favoured African contingent is upset given the paucity of black super-heroes.

“The only one is that Hancock guy, and he is an alcoholic who can’t fly straight” said Kenyan runner Odele Memembi.

“I tried to get permission to run as Nelson Mandela, and was declined on the basis that he doesn’t wear lycra. I’m not so sure – I’ve heard rumours … .”

Dave Bedford brushed aside the concerns, saying the event was not just about running fast, but was about having fun in the name of a good cause.

“And who won’t have fun with the chance to run with 17,000 Wonder Woman’s – that’s 34,000, let me repeat again, 34,000 gold wristbands, the wristbands … oh my, and the stars, and the tight, tight lycra … shoot me now.”