Football players to honour Thatcher with a minute’s violence

TerryIn a major U-turn, Football Association chief David Bernstein has agreed that Margaret Thatcher will be honoured with a minute’s violence at this weekend’s FA Cup semi-finals at Wembley Stadium. The fact that both matches are North – South encounters only adds to their poignancy.

Chelsea hard man John Terry welcomed the chance to honour Thatcher, and said he hoped to do a two-footed challenge on Manchester City’s James Milner.

“There are no guarantees, but if I get the timing right, I could end his career” said Terry. “Another Northerner on the scrapheap would be just what Maggie wanted.”

“If I can steal milk from a small child at half-time, it will be even better.”

Millwall also plan to send Thatcher off in style in their semi-final with Northern battlers Wigan Athletic, though are worried that they will be limited to just one minute’s violence.

“Obviously I’ll do my best” said Millwall defender Mark Beevers. “But there is a limit to how many sons of out of work miners I can elbow in the face in a minute.”

David Bernstein said he hoped the Northern fans would enter into the spirit of the occasion and brawl with police. But he cautioned that there were limits, and fans would be banned for life if they resorted to singing Billy Bragg songs.

A local sporting event will also see a tribute to Thatcher with the invitational rowing meet on the Harold River expected to feature the English crew using a torpedo to sink the Argentinian boat.