Charity fundraiser ends in violence

Guess whoResidents of Harold where left shocked and outraged by events at last evenings annual charity fundraiser “Harold’s Reality Guess Who”. As ever the night is run to raise much-needed cash for those affected by Elephantiasis in the local area. With 84% of national cases focused on and around Harold, it remains a cause close to the local community.

The evening began as normal at the town hall with a packed house full of excited anticipation, and the town councillors ready to participate in their unique take on the popular game. Townsfolk pick two councillors at random who compete by sitting opposite each other, hidden from view by a patrician, and try to guess who their opponent is through a series of “yes/no” questions.

The evening began well with Tory councillor Bob Crossly taking on Labour’s Nina O’Neil. Questions followed the normal pattern “Do you wear shoes?” “Are you a man?” and the traditional “Are you called Harold?” which never fails to raise a laugh from the audience.

However as the evening progressed things turned nasty. At first it was simply passive aggressive with questions such as “Do you have a nasal head cold?” and “Does your wife smell of tomatoes?”. But things took a turn for the worse with the final round between the Mayor of Harold Rufus D Jackson and Liberal councillor Ron Ronsson.

The Mayor opened the round with “Have you ever been caught sniffing your wife’s underwear?” Ronsson strenuously denied the suggestion, however Rufus followed with “you must be good at it then.”

The ensuing fist fight led to 18 arrests with PC Flegg leading the Mayor away in handcuffs. One eyewitness reported hearing an exasperated Rufus exclaim in dramatic fashion “Is this heaven or hell?” “Neither” replied PC Flegg, “This is Harold.”