Vicar’s attempt to ‘convert’ gay penguins ends in acrimony, staining


Out-of-village vicar Paul Stones is suffering from fish and the early stages of drowning, it has been said.
What started out as a conversion attempt on a gay penguin and the other gay penguin, started ending up with a homo-genised man of the cloths, who can swim after mackerel without breathing for ages.

‘A gay penguin and the other gay penguin teaches children nothing about the bible in our petting zoo’, claimed Vicar Stones, while picking oily fish marks all down his front.
‘But swimming self-sufficiently beneath the waves certainly showed me a thing or two about where there’s a whale with a willy!’

Paul ‘He’s The Vicar’ Stones is now hoping the penguins can teach his flock more about tundric survival, as well as how to look so matching together as if it’s no effort to pull it off.
Vicar (Paul) is now not sure himself if gayness is really a matter for the church, but is willing to give it more of a go if he can find a similar vicar to practice it out on.

‘The funny thing is’, he said. ‘Is that they might not be gay because one of them might be vagina-ed’, he also said. Paul claims to be unvagined himself, but is coy about more in-depth biologicals, particularly given the climate.
‘The more gay penguins the merrier!’ quipped Paul. ‘Last one in’s got shitty flippers!’

Pauls funeral was last Thursday for those that wish to attend, buried at sea according to his wishes.