No Sympathy For Wannabe Devils

It’s Bank Holiday weekend and I’m working and I love it 🙂 Last night in The Squirrel Lickers one joker tried to commiserate with me as if I was somehow being punished. ‘More like a *ank Holiday for you eh, vicar?’ he spluttered, amusing himself so much with his wit that he started to choke on a pork scratching but luckily for him Ærndis Vigfusson was there too and quickly put her A&E nursing skills to good use! Well done Ærndis 🙂

Being a vicar is a vocation and the hours are long, no, I don’t just work on Sundays that’s Andy our curate you’re thinking of there 😉 While I do see myself, and hope that you all see me, as ready to serve and to help at any time perhaps you could all help me by realising that a vicar who has been woken at three am by spooked out goths who’ve yet again done a ouija board in the graveyard and scared themselves senseless is a tired vicar the next day.

And honestly when none of you are bilingual and neither was he why were you trying to contact Hitler anyway? If you’re going to completely abandon your common sense and mess around with things that you don’t understand and can’t control then at least use your common sense. It’s always some absolute horror of a human being that you’re trying to talk to when it would be much more beneficial to want to chat with someone lovely. Why doesn’t anyone ever try to summon Oliver Postgate or Margaret Rutherford that’s what I want to know.

So please make this Bank Holiday Weekend a Thank Holiday Weekend where I get to thank you all for not doing anything monumentally stupid concerning ghosts, ouija boards, exorcisms, séances and attempts to recreate key scenes from Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil as well as enjoying an uninterrupted night’s sleep.


God Bless,



P.S The answer to last week’s catchphrase puzzle was of course ‘figging’. I’m sure some of you are quite warm with embarrassment for not getting that one! 🙂