Vauxhall not firing on all cylinders

Dear Brenda,

I have a 1999 Astra that I use as a little run around to go to the shops and so on. The other day, the electronic warning light came on while I was driving and the car’s power cut down. According to the manual, it says it does this to enable journey to be completed but should be looked at instantly.
I took the car to the garage but they found no fault during the test. On my journey home, though, the power cut again and the light came back on. My husband says the car is just getting old and it’s not worth the effort to put it right, as long as it gets me from A to B, but I want to try to save it if I can.
If the diagnostic is not turning up any faults what do I do next? I’m at my wit’s end! What should I do?

House-bound, Harold


Dear House-bound,

sexy brenda It sounds to me like you might have one cylinder misfiring. You don’t mention it, but assuming it’s a petrol-fuelled model, the warning light comes on because if you continue driving, unburnt petrol will damage the catalytic converter. The most likely cause for an intermittent misfire like this is the high voltage side of the ignition system (the part that carries the voltage to the spark plugs). Some Astras had problems with the spark plug caps. Check these, and replace if necessary.

It reminds me of a couple I knew before I moved to Harold. The wife confided to me that the spark had gone out of their love-making, but her husband seemed to think it wasn’t worth the effort to fix it. She was close to tears, so I put my arm around her shoulder to console her. I was just trying to be a good friend, but when I placed my hand on her thigh, she guided it up to her crotch to reveal she wasn’t wearing any knickers and was already wet. I was stunned! To tell the truth, I’d always fancied her, but had put it out of my mind as she was married. Her hand then reached for my firm, D-cup breasts, and she slowly carressed my nipples till they were hard.

Well one thing led to another and before long we were a writhing knot of sweat-soaked limbs on her kitchen floor. Just then, her husband walked in – with a car mechanic! We could tell they were getting turned on by what they saw, and we leaped on them like seagulls on savaloys. Their marriage has gone from strength to strength since then, and we still keep in touch, as does the mechanic.

Anyway Sue, I guess what I’m saying is that if you need me to jump-start your bedroom (or even kitchen floor!) adventures, let me know, and I’ll pop round.


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