The Vagina Dialogues

Dear Brenda,

A little bird told me that before moving to Harold, you used to have a career in theatre, and that as well as performing, you also wrote and produced your own touring show.
A golfing friend of my husband’s said he had seen you perform, but left the details of your show a mystery. He did say that you were an extremely talented woman!
Harold Amateur Dramatic Society are planning our annual Whit Monday variety show and we are looking for a grand finale – do you think you could be persuaded?

Curious, Harold


Dear Curious,

sexy brenda Well, Sue, it’s true, and please pass on my thanks to your husband’s golfing friend for his kind words.

Only this morning, as I was in the shower with my super-hot Japanese girlfriend, Akiko, soaping her firm, pert breasts and letting out small gasps of pleasure as her nimble, expert fingers explored my soaking sex, we were saying that it might be time to revive our stage-show.

It was just myself and Akiko, performing an intimate two-hander ventriloquist act that we called “The Vagina Dialogues”. The show is a series of conversations between our va-jay-jays, dealing with aspects of the hot horny lesbian experience, with dialogue titles like “Slightly overweight, balding, middle-aged men drive us wild”, “Don’t just stand there, Mr Plumber – join in the fun!” and “This will totally not get back to your wife” – using ventriloquism and lighting to make it look like it was our genitalia talking.

The show climaxed with our vaginal ventriloquist version of the Chas’n’Dave classic, “Rabbit”.

We went down well everywhere – and much to our delight, the critics usually gave us two thumbs up. We were even nominated for a Quimmy in the best naked glistening two-woman lesbian stage show category and there was good coverage in the horny lesbian press at the time.

However, when we took the show to London, ticket sales were poor, and we were forced to bring the curtains down after only two shows. The experience hurt, but after a few days licking our wounds, we were able to pull it together for the final show in Eastbourne.

What might be interesting is getting some of Dramatic Society members involved – we could write some more parts…what do you think, Sue? I could pop round later and see if your growler is up to the job.


Dramatic Society need a genital performer? Ask Brenda – Send your questions to the usual address or e-mail her now at Or follow Brenda on Twitter – @RealSugarTits69

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