Theresa May on tuition fees ‘We must find who’s to blame’

The Prime Minister has called for whoever is to blame for eye-watering University tuition fees to be brought to book, named and shamed.

“Our tuition fees are amongst the highest in the world and someone must be responsible.” said a woman who voted through every single one of  the austerity measure of the idiot who used to live at Number 9 Downing Street.

Mrs May is not simply looking back though. The PM is keen to forge a path to a great new post-Brexit UK.

“I’ve announced a year-long review to investigate which Labour’s policies we might steal, re-package, and then present to the electorate at the next election” said a woman who actually goes to church on Sundays, pretends to pray for the needy in society and doesn’t even have the grace to blush afterwards.