Tom Cruise breaks his leg whilst jumping off his wallet

“Gottle o’ geer, gottle o’ geer.”

Little Tom Cruise has been hurt, filming a jump between his wallet and his huge ego.

“It was always going to be tricky; the size of Tom’s ego varies according to the size of his wallet.” said producer Christopher McQuarrie, at a press briefing.

“In short, it was a massive stunt. Sorry? Yes, I agree. But what I actually said was ‘a massive stunt’.”

The Mission: Impossible studio confirmed filming of Mission: Impossible 6 was impossible, after the diminutive star limped off set saying “It’s impossible to carry on”, leaving the crew in an impossible position.

Paramount Pictures has not yet responded to calls for footage of the accident to be released so that film fans may watch it in slow motion and decide if he really did break his leg, or was delivering an unusually convincing piece of acting.

“Knowing his work, I very much doubt it’s the latter unless he’s been taking lessons.” said occasional Evening Harold film critic, Mariella Buss-Stop,”So I’m hoping to watch it just for its comedic value.”

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