PM gives go ahead to £18bn Hinkley Point Cash generator

‘Left a bit, right a bit … yeah, good enough’

Theresa May has finally approved a controversial scheme at Hinkley Point, to process un-spent income into fat profits for France and China.

“State involvement in massive infrastructure projects is never a good idea.” asserted the PM today “Unless it’s a foreign State of course, in which case everything’s fine – ‘fill yer boots’ as the saying goes. That’s working very well with the railways.”

Mrs May says that safety was her over-riding concern when re-assessing the project over the last six weeks. “All the latest data shows that fallout from a Somerset nuclear meltdown would not reach as far up the M4 as my Maidenhead constituency”.

France and China were chuffed to bits at the news. After they’d stooped laughing long enough to draw breath, Chinese General Nuclear said “We’re now able to go ahead with our partners EDF and let the UK provide us both with safe, reliable and sustainable low-cost cash generation for decades to come.”