Residents complain at the influx of ‘Bitstrippers’ living in the village

Residents in the village of Harold have raised their concerns at a public meeting about the arrival of a ‘Bitstrip’ family to the village. The family have moved in next door to Carly Jeffery and her two young children.

Ms Jeffery told us: “I’m no cartoonist, but, these people are just an annoying danger to everyone around them. They are continually setting fire to things and committing other acts of violence, taking photos of themselves in the act and uploading those pictures to Facebook with some stupid comment at the bottom.”

“I wouldn’t mind if they just kept themselves to themselves, but three times this week the father has pushed me off the side of a cliff just so he could then save me, and have his photo taken again.”

A quick search through the popular social media site, Facebook, suggests the number of ‘Bitstrippers’ is on the rise with many Daily Mail readers saying they may be a bigger threat than opening the door to Bulgarians in January.

“They’re bloody everywhere”, Mick Clarkson of Clarkson Cars said. “I saw one of them throwing a basket of cats over an innocent bystander whilst laughing. And I don’t mean nice ‘Mister Super Paws’ fluffy Internet-type cats. No, these were vicious foreign Bitstrip cats with claws and evil intent.”

Lionel Garage, leader of the Harold Independence Party and chair of the public meeting explained: “The bottom line is that our Facebook feeds are already full of people’s dinners, children, pets and occasionally children riding pets eating dinner. There just isn’t the room for these weirdos.”

“And let’s be honest, we could put up with their smug looks, their ‘crazy’ antics and painfully unfunny strap lines, but do we really want to have a village full of outsiders talking about themselves in the third person? Lionel Garage doesn’t think so.”