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Tragic irony as Christopher Chope has own genitals mutilated in gardening accident

In proof that karma stalks the streets of Christchurch, Christopher Chope, the MP who blocked a law to protect girls from Female Genital Mutilation, was himself this morning tragically genitally mutilated by a rogue lawnmower.

The MP was apparently cutting his front lawn when his mower, a
Husqvarna high performance LC 19A, hit a rock and reared up, neatly trimming Chope’s own undergrowth before a quick-witted neighbour ambled over to eventually turn off the motor.

A spokesperson for the Dorset ambulance service confirmed that Chope’s
‘life-changing injuries’ were confined purely to his sub-belt area.

“The Husqvarna LC 19A features an alloy cutting deck and eight cutting heights, and sadly for Mr Chope, the blades were at the highest possible level,” he explained.

“This is obviously a very tragic occurrence, but the public should be reassured by the fact that a) these accidents are very rare, and b) it happened to Christopher Chope.”


* Editor’s note – This is a spoof story intended for amusement and satirical purposes only. The Evening Harold does not support the actual genital mutilation of angry old men, even misogynistic upskirter-enabling tossbags.

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