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Queen to be encased in carbonite if Brexit turns ugly

British officials have revived emergency plans to freeze the Queen in carbonite and blast her into space should there be riots in London if Britain suffers a disruptive departure from the European Union.

“These emergency evacuation plans have been in existence since the cold war but have now been repurposed in the event of civil disorder following a no-deal Brexit,” the Sunday Times said, quoting an unnamed source from Cloud City on the gas planet of Bespin.

Jacob Rees-Vader, Sith Lord and keen supporter of Brexit, told the Mail on Sunday he believed the plans showed unnecessary panic by officials over a no-deal Brexit.

But an ex-police officer formerly in charge of royal protection disagreed. “If there were problems in London, clearly the Queen would be well-protected in carbonite” he was quoted as saying.

“If she survives the freezing process, that is.”

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