Albert, this morning
Residents of the village of Harold were today coming to terms with the untimely and tragic death of “Albert”, a much-loved local personality and ant.
Albert had long been one of Harold’s most popular insects, and his cheerful six-legged figure was a common sight scurrying in at open windows, devouring sweet things in local larders and listening to his favourite band, which was of course eighties glam new romantics Spandau Ballet. Continue reading
Possibly planning acts of terrorism, but probably not.
The Harold police force has admitted that a recent focus on ant terrorism was “almost certainly” a result of a typing error, with the number of arrests still standing at zero after more than six months of hard work.
“I went to a regional conference on policing in Luton and there was a lot going on so I struggled to keep up but made the best notes I could.” explained an embarrassed PC Flegg, “There was a whole section on anti-terrorism techniques, but it would appear that when I came to type up my notes I missed the i off anti.” Continue reading