I am the Secretary of Harold’s very own Classic American Car Club (The Dukes of Harold). We are organising a ‘cruise’ for the day of the village show and opening up this event to non-members. We’re particularly keen to welcome someone, preferably a Haroldite, who actually owns an American car; better yet one that runs under its own steam.
Ideally we’d like to avoid duplication so it might help to list the entries thus far. Club Chairman Mark Butler’s 1968 Vauxhall Viva HB (Starsky & Hutch colours) and my much-acclaimed 1972 Mark 3 Cortina GXL 2-door (in full DoH colours, complete with ‘Dixie’ horn).
The Viva tends to overheat when it’s warm so, depending on the weather, the cruise will take in parts of Dunstable and/or Leighton Buzzard ending at the floral marquee where the Mayor will present the best-in show award.
Look forward to hearing from you or seeing you on the day. YeeeHah!
Marion ‘Daisy Duke’ Butler (Mrs)
To whom it may concern,
My recent letter, offering pensioners a 25% summer discount on logs, had a disappointing response leaving our bookkeeper with a little spare time.
However, Janice used that time researching tax-efficiency matters and came up with a real stonker. Linking her passion for ‘alternative therapies’ with a vague interest in NVQ basic accounting, Janice is now offering financial planning under the reassuring umbrella of local Harold business ‘Logs 2 Go’**.
In essence, ‘The Logs 2 Go Homeopathic Tax Plan’ works on the same principle as the well-researched mainstream versions. If you’ve ever paid some tax at some point in your life, say VAT on a tank of fuel, your wallet will have a ‘memory’ of that payment and any tax you now pay will have the potential for a hugely multiplied effect.
Obviously it can get a little complicated when explaining this to HMRC and once you’ve paid your fee Janice will fine-tune your tax return to ensure the Treasury won’t get overwhelmed once the homeopathic tax effect kicks in.
Initially we’re opening up this service to pensioners over 85, dementia sufferers and adults with a carer but once we’ve sorted any teething problems and printed a colour brochure we’ll roll it out to less gullible other Haroldites. Call in for a no-obligation chat – and order those logs whilst you’re at it!
D Forfun (Managing Director)
To the women of Harold,
A reminder to readers old and new that Harold WI meets in the Church Hall on the 3rd Thursday of each month (8pmprompt).
Our June meeting will start with our AGM, which will end by 8.20pm, after which we have a really interesting speaker. Daphne Rogers comes with excellent recommendations from both Dunstable & Leighton Buzzard branches.
Daphne has adapted her popular ‘Introduction to Dogging’ lecture to suit Harold’s rural environment and this will be followed by a brief practical session in the Squirrel Lickers Arms car park. Hope to see you there!
Dear Evening Harold,
Stop stealing thoughts from my head, its what I would expect from a newspaper in Glawster.
You’ve been warned, or I might stab outside your offices with a functional anorak and poorly spelt placard.
Thanks to all those who contributed, especially the person who goes by the name DVO4FUN
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