by Mik Bulk – Evening Harold feature writer of the year
The unnamed man, Alan Hodge, came foul of his plank whilst attaching the thing to a duct, it has been said and is believed.
A source reached out to journalists (me) to explain the case.
However, the call was truncated (or cut off) so we (I) dutifully got into the unnamed Mr Hodge’s mobile phone answer messages folder. He didn’t have any it transpired after the event.
But Mr Hodge is now critical and has lost perhaps 88 pints of blood.
I phoned the hospital and said I was related to the Queen. They put me through to Mr Hodge’s ward but he couldn’t speak as doctors had done for him.
With the NHS in a shambles I quickly realised what was going on and hung up quickly.
Police haven’t said anything but might be investigating the situation.
Household injuries rose last year according to internet sources.
More soon as we watch closely and the case beckons.