First of all let me be clear. I did not call all Tory party activists ‘mad, swivel-eyed loons’. That would deeply disrespectful and irresponsible. I was only referring to the idiots that have the audacity to disagree with what the leadership say.
Many of the grass-roots supporters are decent Tories with proper conservative values, and proper Conservative money. The ones that may be seen as mad, swivel-eyed loons are the ones that only pay the minimum £25 membership fee. These are the ones that are more suited to UKIP.
That said, poor people have the same right to join the party as the much better, richer members that I prefer to listen to. But when paying the minimum it is not acceptable to voice an opinion that goes against the party line.
Their elected member of parliament has a very important job to do, mainly ensuring they remain in the position of only being able to afford the £25 fee. It is not fair that these hard-working millionaires are being forced to listen to what you have to say.
Every member of the party does have a very important role to play, and it is imperative to the future success of the Conservative party that activists and members at the Conservative associations fulfil that role to the best of their ability. Basically what I am saying is, know your place. Deliver your leaflets, take abuse on the doorstep but keep your stupid f**king opinion to yourselves.
Bearing all that in mind, I would still like to apologise if anyone has been offended by my remarks, and I promise to ensure I am more careful with my words next time, and only leak them through the proper channel, The Daily Mail.
OK, as a parody site we admit the Tory in question didn’t actually talk to us, but we are sure this is what they might have said