Hand washing is one of those things that get drummed into kids from an early age, along with teeth cleaning, and not opening the parent’s bedroom door while they are attending to the rattly headboard and squeaky mattress.
But just as the Delaney teenagers did open the bedroom door resulting in months of therapy and a lifetime aversion to cucumbers and oranges, I’ve noticed that even adults of the age of Councillor Ron Ronsson can overlook washing their hands after going to the bathroom – with predictably brown consequences.
I’m not saying people of a similar vintage to Councillor Ronsson always forget to wash their hands, but I recently shook hands with a local identity to congratulate him on his re-election and received a vivid reminder of the importance of hand washing that couldn’t just be brushed off, it had to be scrubbed.
Now I’m sure that “Mr Poo Hands” had important Council business on his or her (definitely his) mind while going to the bathroom, but he really needed to bear in mind that studies have shown there is more harmful bacteria in a handful of poo than on a door handle or computer mouse.
In short, I could have caught the coronavirus and f***ing died. It would have been no use in people like Ronsson coming to my surgery to discuss erectile dysfunction if I was slumped over my desk dead.
I haven’t really covered teeth brushing, but I note that if you’re a local politician who can’t be bothered washing hands before brushing your teeth, it is probably not a good idea to open your mouth wide when smiling for that press photo.