The referee for tonight’s World Cup semi-final has warned all players that any diving will be punished by a yellow card.
“I know you’ve all been inspired by the amazing diving to rescue the Wild Boars football team,” said Cuneyt Cakir ahead of England v Croatia, “but don’t try to replicate it on the pitch tonight. Unless you’re the goal-keeper.”
“If you get sent off, it’ll be a problem of your own Croatian,” he warned.
Many people were astonished to learn that Neymar didn’t take part in the Thai diving.
“He’s one of the best divers around,” said Cakir. “He would have made the Navy Seals look like amateurs.”
Gareth Southgate has promised that if England win the World Cup, their next challenge will be to take on the Wild Boars in a charity match.
“That would be our toughest game ever,” he said. “Most of them are older than our squad. They’re certainly a lot tougher.”