“No, I haven’t done my homework. I thought I’d just lie about it.” says Davis

his laptop crashed and the dog ate it anyway

David Davis told the EU select committee this morning that he’d ‘completely forgot’ to do his EU homework which was set for him 15 months ago.

Last week Mr Davis handed in a huge set of papers with lots of crossings out, explaining that it was the homework but that Boris Johnson had scribbled on it.

The week before that he said his laptop had crashed and the electricity cut off at home, so he couldn’t have done it “and the dog had eaten it anyway”.

Davis said he’d been worried that if he’d done his homework, the other 27 children would copy it from him. “I think the best solution would be for me to tell you I’ve done it and you to accept my word for it. I’ll do the marking too”.

“That went rather well, don’t you think?” said an upbeat Davis “Apart from when Hilary Benn asked me if I was chewing a sweet. I managed to spend most of the time telling them how they’d misunderstood the different terms ‘impact assessment’, ‘sector analysis’ and ‘sector forecast’.”

“No I’ve got no idea either.”

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