Lord St Davids has wearily explained to a court that offering five grand to have Gina Miller run over shouldn’t be seen as him offering five grand to have her run over after pleading not guilty to charges of making malicious communications and being a prick.
“Gina Miller, mmm… strapping girl. Full of admiration for her ability to jump over boats. It’s in their genes, you know. Offering £5000 to have her run over was a bit of a jape. She could jump my bon.. jump over cars easily.”
The Viscount posted on facebook “£5,000 for the first person to ‘accidentally’ run over this bloody troublesome first generation immigrant” but says this should be seen in the light of his financial position.
“I’m broke. Well” he chuckled “that’s what I told my creditors last year, before ‘accidentally’ becoming bankrupt again, for the third time.”
“So you see,” the utter count patiently explained, “I don’t pay my debts, even when I have the cash. I certainly didn’t have a spare £5,000 to waste this woma … to waste on this woman. So it wasn’t a real offer, as such Not to anyone who knows me.”
“I’ve got nothing personal against this ghastly foreign bitc…” he said, adding “She should be sent back to the jungle. Couldn’t you order that, Judge?”