Minister for riding the Brexit bomb, David Davis, is chuffed that he’s already completed his first U-turn on only the first day of Brexit talks.
“No one reveals their hand at the start of negotiations,” chuckled Davis, whose biggest success at wheeler-dealing was getting us to pay for mowing the paddocks at his country house.
“I won’t necessarily fold so easily next time.” he said, after flat-spotting his tyres with the speed of his about-turn on timetabling, before admitting “I will of course, but they don’t know that yet. That’s the trick you see, keeping them guessing.”
UK officials say they’re training up Davis on-the-job and have set him targets for getting Michel Barnier to pay for at least one round of coffees by the end of next week and some plain biscuits by the end of July.
Barnier, the Minister for spelling out the terms of the UK’s surrender, was cautiously optimistic and says he hopes to finalise the whole process by early November.
“We’ve already booked a charming little period railway carriage in Compiègne for the formal signing-off ceremony. The date? Let me check, ah yes the 11th November. Shall we say 11am?”