Following the unearthing of a Roman Villa during a barn conversion job in Wiltshire, the archaeologists had another surprise when they dug up a mosaic floor and found Aston Villa underneath that.
“We knew they were on the verge of relegation,” said Dr David Roberts, an Historic England archaeologist, “but hadn’t quite appreciated just how low a team can go. This one was buried under a thick layer of alluvial sediment.”
The discovery is described as ‘significant’, showing signs of a once thriving club with status across Europe.
“But under the disinterested ownership of Emperor Randy Lerner,” he continued, “the club sank so deep in the mud it’s already been re-classified as an unexplained artefact from ancient history.”
Villa must now play in the Wiltshire Football League for the next two millennia, up against the likes of Trowbridge and Royal Wootton Bassett Reserves, before the final reckoning when they’ll drop straight through the lower Swindon League into total oblivion.