A housewife from the village of Harold has eloped with the family’s new ‘listening’ Samsung TV, claiming it pays far more attention to her than her husband ever did.
In an interview with the Radio Times, Elsie Renfrew, 42, explained that she had spent twenty years being ignored by husband Roger, and that the couple had in fact last exchanged greetings in 1997.
“Then we got this new Samsung telly,” she told journalists, “And suddenly I knew something was actually listening to me at long last – for once, something actually cared.”
The television, a FH6200 Series with 60″ screen (diagonal), features voice recognition for channel selection, volume control and wistful confidences about what you could have been if only you’d married someone with a bit more life to them.
Samsung have insisted that voice data is stored only for as long as necessary to search for requested content, but Mrs Renfrew knows differently.
“Every time my personally-identifiable voice data is passed to a third-party servers for classification and optionally to improve the quality of the system in future, I feel a shiver down my spine,” she confessed. “Sometimes we talk about programme listings well into the night. It’s so romantic, and with multi-screen technology I can play Angry Birds while watching Antiques Roadshow.”
The unusual couple have now set up home in Mrs Refrew’s mother’s spare room until they can find their perfect love nest. Meanwhile, deserted husband Roger is left nursing his wounded pride with nothing more than the old 32″ Sony Bravia with no smart features.
Mrs Renfrew has no regrets. “It serves him right,” she insisted. “You know his trouble? He was just too remote.”