The music industry has heaved a huge sigh of relief after learning that last weekend’s Beckham car crash was not the warbling clotheshorse attempting another comeback.
Victoria was distraught after learning of husband David’s motor accident, having misheard the early reports.
“Oh, thank god for that, I thought you said ‘car clash’. There’s nothing worse than turning up at an event and someone has exactly the same car as you. I couldn’t have let him drive it again, for the shame he would have brought upon brand Beckham.”
Given David’s history of accidents, there was some concern about damage to his marriage, but the other driver’s condition is not thought to be wife-threatening. Nevertheless, the multi-millionaire fashionista extended her sympathies. “The poor woman only had a Mitsubishi Colt. Still it’s written off now, so ‘every cloud’…”
Beckham’s damaged bodywork now needs a major rebuild, new rear end and headlamps. Victoria says she’s pleased that his car is not seriously damaged though.
Their local Audi dealer was optimistic about the effectiveness of repairs “Those scratches on the tattoos aren’t going to buff out but at least this’ll give us the chance to beat out some dense”.