Sipping on a can of Coke and chewing on a pack of Haribo during a high level training session at Harold Youth Club, an up and coming player explained a decline in youth clubs across the country would see minority sports such as table tennis, table football, and priest evading disappear.
“A few years ago we were hoping table football and pool played on an uneven table with a cue that has seen less chalk than a whiteboard would have joined table tennis to become youth club discipline sports contested in the Commonwealth Games.
“Poor Sam has even managed a personal best of 13 minutes 24.6 seconds of dodging advances from adults of a dubious character in preparation for four-years time.
“But with funding for youth clubs falling England may never see another table tennis champion or its first Top Trumps gold medalist.”
“And with McDonald’s sponsoring major events we have already stood down our tuck shop team.”