Super-Rich List fallout: Chelsea to sack Abramovich?


“Spare change? Sorry mate, no.”

Chelsea fans have called for the sacking of Roman Abramovich, after a string of poor performances in the Sunday Times UK Super-Rich list.

“It’s got harder holding our heads high at the Bridge, since he dropped down the ‘How much?’ rankings,” complained fan Roger Brendan. Best known as inspirational manager of Harold Thursday FC, Brendan says he’s supported the Blues ever since Abramovich spent an enormous skip-full of dodgy cash on the world’s top players.

“Sure, Roman did well for us in his first few seasons. We even accepted his recent third places because he was restructuring his assets and promised to get the top spot back, but he’s finished this year’s Super Rich List campaign in ninth.”

Supporters at the Shed End have finally lost patience with the enigmatic Russian, who shipped his £billions into the UK whilst the rest of his country was still wondering where the Soviet Union had gone. Brendan is now pinning his hopes on Manchester City’s owner Sheikh Mansour (£20bn and counting) being tempted to move to Chelsea over the summer.

“We’d hoped he [Abramovich] would do the business on the world stage, but this season he only just sneaked into the UK top ten with £8.52bn. It’s as if he’s given up making money and is happy to drift along in mid-table. Like a financial version of Fernando Torres; but obviously no one else could be as bad as that”.



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