Police have been called in to investigate how one of the nations most loved children’s entertainers ended up with his body severed into several pieces and spread around an establishment in Harold.
Morph, the plasticine sidekick to the late Tony Hart, was discovered yesterday morning in ‘Cuts Both Ways’ being used to hold up 3 mirrors, 2 clocks and a calender of David Beckham. It has not been established what body parts are being used as each piece was rolled into little balls.
Shop owner, Julie Kettle, has admitted to tearing him to shreds and using him as an adhesive but has denied it was done with any intent. “I knew I needed tac of some sort but couldn’t remember what colour” she sobbed. “If I had known it was supposed to be blue instead of brown then we wouldn’t be in this mess, Smurfs aren’t as pliable”
Morph had been in Cuts Both Ways with his BBC employee carer who was getting a trim. He was left behind by the forgetful carer as she left in a hurry with an icepack on her head. Witnesses say she was shouting she ‘didn’t want to go lighter, so why did you put Domestos in my hair’.
Police say the store will remain closed for the rest of the day whilst forensics gather their evidence. PC Anita Flegg told a press conference that because the crime scene was so vast, with ‘bits of Morph’ all over the place, it made for a complicated case. As she displayed the hundreds of pieces of plasticine on an overhead projector she told us “it may take a while to piece things together”.