Celebrity fever hit Harold yesterday as it emerged that Paris Hilton was almost sighted emerging from Harold shop Cuts Both Ways. News of the near miss spread quickly, and the excited crowd would have brought travel to a standstill if there had been any.
Melanie Delaney, 19, was thrilled to be mistaken for Paris Hilton. “It was a stroke of luck that my persistent body image problem and desire to self-harm meant I was out shopping for scissors in the first place. And that people thought I was Paris, even if only for a moment, shows that the bulimia is really paying off.”
Cuts Both Ways owner Julia Kettle could barely contain her excitement. “I’ve never had a celebrity in my shop, well I suppose I still haven’t, but to think she choose my scissors over those in a large metropolitan outlet. I was so thrilled I threw in a complimentary gouger and some razor blades.”
Harold Mayor Rufus D Jackson said it was incidents like the Paris sighting that help put Harold on the map. “It just goes to show that no matter how humble your roots, any Harold resident has the potential to be mistaken for a celebrity. Who knows how many Lindsay Lohans and Paul Gascoines there are down at the Squirrel Licker’s Arms as we speak?”