Managers will have to dig their own dug outs
Stung by accusations of incompetence following the decision to play the 2022 World Cup Finals in the desert heat of Qatar, FIFA have responded by awarding the 2026 Finals to Antarctica.
“We’ve learnt our lessons from the Qatar debacle”, insisted Sepp Blatter, “so to avoid the higher temperatures of the summer months, the Antarctican matches will be played in the winter.” Continue reading
UK in decline? Why can we no longer compete with this level of Euro genius?
Following on from resolving not to take military action against President Assad’s regime in Syria at this time and being dismissed as a small island that no one listens to by one of Vladimir Putin’s spokesmen, the UK has taken its first official step towards a reduced role on the world stage by pulling out of the Eurovision Song Contest.
“Europe is very, very far away,” said Spencer Chadwick, Tory MP for Harold and one of the leaders of the ‘No Euro’ campaign. “If some countries whose culture remains to most ordinary Britons unfathomable and whose lands remain unvisited such as, er, Ireland and France want to prance around letting off glitter cannons, singing formulaic pap and acting the giddy goat then that’s their business and not ours.” Continue reading