Following the conviction of a “ginger extremist” for plotting to kill Princes Charles and William, the Daily Mail has revealed that up to 50% of so-called refugees from Syria could actually be secret gingers on a mission to undermine the UK’s brown and blond society.
“People see heartbreaking pictures of migrants in boats apparently fleeing a warzone,” argued Mail editor Paul Dacre today, “But have you ever noticed how many of them are wearing hats?”
“Many of them are coming over here, claiming to be light brown or ‘strawberry blonde’, but it’s clear that in many cases this is nothing but a ruse.”
A spokesperson from the UK’s National Council of Gingers expressed shock at the assumption that redheads were terrorists based purely on the colour of their hair.
“It may be true that many of the refugees follow are of ginger background,” he explained, “But the vast majority of gingers are peaceful, hard-working folk, even if they do look a bit funny.”
Instances of gingerphobia are on the rise worldwide, as seen in the recent incident in a US school when a ginger pupil was arrested by police after bringing in a comb which teachers found threatening.
President Obama attempted to make it up to the boy by inviting him to visit the White House any time he wants, provided he wears some sort of hair net, and a message of solidarity was issued from the National Association for the Advancement of Bald People.