The Gates family love backpacking in the far-east but recently returned from a long weekend in a Cumbrian cottage, where they never went further than the dustbin.
“The quantity and quality of the tourist attractions was amazing. If the brochures were anything to go by.” said Gill, manager of Lacrymans & Co estate agents in Harold.
“We spent Friday and Saturday sorting them into sunny day/rainy day piles and Sunday weeding out duplicates.” added husband Alex “There were no fewer than 147 separate tri-fold A4 pages on Bovington Tank Museum alone.”
“That might seem odd, as it’s 300 miles to Dorset, but every self-catering place in the UK has to have at least five copies, by law.”
“There wasn’t enough time to go out, so all our food was delivered by Tesco. Anyway you never know what you’ll get with all that ‘farm-fresh, locally-produced’ nonsense.”
Gill has only one regret about not actually visitng any local attractions “If we’d had an extra day , I’d liked to have seen Monkey World. That’s in Dorset too – but it’s great value, with adult admission only £1/ 10 shillings.”